Most of us have and many of us still do I am sure. It is an old habit and one we can all fall into if we are not vigilant. It is one thing to admire the qualities of someone else and to try to emulate them however the resulting effects can be damaging to us.
The ideal is in the future and we are in the present. To want to be with the ideal man or the ideal woman is natural; at least for everyone who still wants to be in a relationship. But we have all heard the story of the perfect woman who was looking for the perfect man and found that he doesn’t exist.
To want the ideal job, the ideal career or creative challenge is also natural but it is far healthier to accept first where you are right this very minute.
If we can do that then something else may become possible, but before that we will probably sabotage any likelihood of success as we need to come to grips first with why we are in the situation in the first place.
I remember a time when I had lost everything and had fallen from my ivory tower; it was painful for the ego but the best thing that happened to me. Many know this who have aimed for the stars and fallen short; many also have reached to the stars and fallen down.
Probably the most dangerous characteristic is to be shooting for an ideal of yourself that is not you now at this very moment.
You see, what happens when we do that is to project an image of ourselves onto a far away screen and to drive our whole ambition, personality, energy and guts into this image and to try and mould ourselves into a cardboard replica of ourselves, or some far-off ideal of the imaginary person we think we want to be.
This precludes us from living in the moment and being natural human beings. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be better human beings but the vital ingredient for this transformation is to really and truly accept who we are right now and to see with the most brutal honesty what sort of person we have become.
With this deadly accurate insight without ANY negative judgment about ourselves we just might become that person we want to become; BUT not before.
The secret is to accept ourselves exactly as we are without judgment of any description as the judgment prevents the transformation and will stop us seeing clearly what we need to see.
Source by Sam Borrett